Finding Gems
The Vibrating Pack ‘n Play No. 2 is a dildo designed to be both a packer and a dildo. Meant to eliminate the need to carry around two separate products, this toy is theoretically soft enough to wear beneath clothes but hard enough for penetration.
I love that this dildo looks streamlined and neat. The Vibrating Pack ‘n Play No. 2 caught my eye because it has the same body as my much-loved Mark O2. Semi-realistic and stylized, this dildo sports a lightly-veined shaft and a shiny head.
I don’t know even where to… I feel so….Look at….MY NAME IS ON THE DILDO.
To be honest, I almost find it weird to call Silvarus’ creations “dildos” because they’re so much more that that. Looking at them, you can’t help but appreciate this artist’s craft. They’re art. They’re magical.
This dildo’s design can be summed up as “one stunning willy.” The dildo itself is crazily detailed because it’s a life cast (courtesy of male porn star, Pierre Fitch). I’ve never watched any of his porn, so I’m not best-buddies with his penis and I can’t tell you how accurate and true-to-life this dildo is. But I can tell/show you is the detail here is meticulous.
I had trouble deciding whether or not I should slot this review into my “realistic” feature category of toys. The Real Nude Ergo clearly resembles a penis. It has testicles. It has a head with some sort of coronal ridge. And it comes in this peachy skin tone as well as a darker skin tone. But the realism ends there.
Okay, okay… I’m not sure if you actually have to fantasize about a great big purple dinosaur while using it. But, if any of you secretly have a burning urge to do so, now is your time to shine.
I’ve racked my brain trying to decide what I love the most about the Exotic-Erotics Halfling. Is it the adorable flushed rosy head? Is it the thin flap of silicone where the shaft tapers into the balls? Is it those delicious veined textures? I don’t know. All I know is that I need one for every room in my house.
In this world, you can put sex toys into one of three categories. (1) Sex toys that don’t work for you at all. (2) Sex toys that don’t work at first, then feel better as you get used to them. and (3) Sex toys that make you want to weep from pleasure from the moment they touch you. For me, the Tantus Mikey falls into that last (3) category. From the very first session, and every session following, this dildo has rendered me into one of those helpless it-feels-too-good-I-can’t-feel-my-legs states.
Doesn’t the Tiger make your mouth water? Doesn’t it remind you of summertime strawberries and cherry lipstick and cold sugary drinks? It did for me, at first. Now it just reminds me of sex.
The Fifty Shades of Grey Drive Me Crazy Glass Massage Wand is pretty. It consists of circles on a shaft, which doesn’t sound all-too amazing, but it all comes together well.
Technically a double-ended dildo, the wand features two options for penetration. On the one end lies a single bulb, narrow enough to be considered semi-realistic. The slightly-curved shaft is lined with six raised nobs for texture. The shaft grows slightly thicker as it reaches the two round bulbs that sit at the end of the shaft. These double-bulbs are larger and rounder than the bulb at the other end.
I like this one. A lot. This is a stunning dildo. Right now my house is scattered with dildos, but the First Mate hasn’t left my desk between playtimes to be packed away or put away in my storage. It’s sexy to look at, which I feel is essential during playtime. It’s always great to be provided with visual stimulation while things are heating up.
