I love orgasms.
And I love anything that’ll do all the work and bring me to orgasm. By extension, this means that there are few things in this world that I enjoy more than a body-safe sex toy. Chocolate and cheese, maybe. But unlike sex toys, chocolate and cheese promptly vanish the moment I touch them. And they (regrettably) don’t bring me to orgasm. Sex toys are more reliable. I can use sex toys over and over again and they never leave me.
But sometimes I leave sex toys. Some sex toys are so crushingly horrible that I’m tempted to build a little mound of them and set them on fire. Unfortunately, my apartment doesn’t allow open bonfires of flaming dildos.
And why do I have those bad sex toys to begin with? Because there were no reviews on that product. Or, even worse: the available reviewers glossed over the bad features and sugar coated them until they sounded like a plate of cupcakes.
I don’t commit this grave act of sex toy sugary betrayal. All of my reviews are 100% frank, honest, and unbiased.
About my body
Pleasure is relative. What works for me might not work for you. Something I hate might be your best toy. Women’s bodies are different, and so we experience the same sex toy differently. For this reason, remember that I base my frank reviews from this standpoint:
My pleasure center is clitoral. I wouldn’t call myself a power-queen, but I definitely require moderate to moderately-strong rumbly vibrations. I get numb with anything very buzzy.
I’ve never squirted or had a g-spot orgasm. So, if you’re reading a g-spot sex toy review, don’t worry if I don’t mention squirting buckets: no matter how good the toy, it’s not going to happen. That being said, I really love and appreciate good g-spot stimulation; it just doesn’t take me anywhere by itself. For me, a clitoral orgasm with simultaneous g-spot stimulation is seriously amazeballs. This means that I’m always looking for the perfect rabbit.
I am a Canada-based sex-positive cis woman in my mid-twenties. I have a male partner, so when I’m discussing couples toys, I’m probably referring to PIV sex. As a sex-positive woman, I want to foster a shame-free environment for all things consensual.
I’ve been collecting sex toys for years. I was first introduced sex toys by an idyllic feminist-friendly luxury adult store in Canada. With my nose pressed up to the glass cabinets, I knew I’d stumbled across something I was going to love.
With each toy I’ve bought, I’ve always had so much to say. There’s always so much to complain about. And so much to love. And who better to share all my raving and growling and applauding than with you, dear reader?
For any questions, feel free to contact me at missrubyreviews[at]gmail.com.
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