Finding Gems
Sometimes I feel like Tantus is the king of all dildo companies. Not a tyrannical king, no, but a good one that listens to its people’s needs and wants.
Because this dildo meets 4 things I needed and wanted: (1) It’s silicone; (2) It features dual density firmness; (3) It’s realistic; and (4) It has a foreskin! Thank you, King Tantus, thank you!
This dildo, thanks to the life-casting gods, gives you a dildo that’s not stereotypically handsome. The shaft bulges in some spots. The coronal ridge is kind of funky, straight where ridges are often round. The head is slightly asymmetrical. It has the overall effect of not looking particularly youthful, instead giving you impression that this dick is is worldly and experienced. Okay, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself and projecting too much onto it. But still. I love that this dildo isn’t aesthetically perfect. It’s interesting to look at.
The Vibrating Pack ‘n Play No. 2 is a dildo designed to be both a packer and a dildo. Meant to eliminate the need to carry around two separate products, this toy is theoretically soft enough to wear beneath clothes but hard enough for penetration.
I love that this dildo looks streamlined and neat. The Vibrating Pack ‘n Play No. 2 caught my eye because it has the same body as my much-loved Mark O2. Semi-realistic and stylized, this dildo sports a lightly-veined shaft and a shiny head.
This dildo’s design can be summed up as “one stunning willy.” The dildo itself is crazily detailed because it’s a life cast (courtesy of male porn star, Pierre Fitch). I’ve never watched any of his porn, so I’m not best-buddies with his penis and I can’t tell you how accurate and true-to-life this dildo is. But I can tell/show you is the detail here is meticulous.
I’ve racked my brain trying to decide what I love the most about the Exotic-Erotics Halfling. Is it the adorable flushed rosy head? Is it the thin flap of silicone where the shaft tapers into the balls? Is it those delicious veined textures? I don’t know. All I know is that I need one for every room in my house.
In this world, you can put sex toys into one of three categories. (1) Sex toys that don’t work for you at all. (2) Sex toys that don’t work at first, then feel better as you get used to them. and (3) Sex toys that make you want to weep from pleasure from the moment they touch you. For me, the Tantus Mikey falls into that last (3) category. From the very first session, and every session following, this dildo has rendered me into one of those helpless it-feels-too-good-I-can’t-feel-my-legs states.
I like this one. A lot. This is a stunning dildo. Right now my house is scattered with dildos, but the First Mate hasn’t left my desk between playtimes to be packed away or put away in my storage. It’s sexy to look at, which I feel is essential during playtime. It’s always great to be provided with visual stimulation while things are heating up.
The Admiral. It’s a great name. Can you hear the seagulls? The waves lapping against the ship’s hull? The Admiral shouting orders to his crew of sweaty sailors? I love the idea of naming a dildo after a rank in the navy. It immediately sparks my imagination….
When I first opened up Mark, it took me a while to stop squeezing it with my hand. It’s seriously fun to squeeze. Once I got used to this new-found squishy funtime, I got around to inserting it. Thanks to its super smooth surface, it slid in without a hitch with water-based lube. There was no pulling or catching on skin to speak of. Best of all, it feels really realistic. Its head, though pronounced, didn’t scrape up painfully against my g-spot or hurt it in any way. Mark doesn’t hurt.
Who wouldn’t want an ultra-realistic schlong to hang on their wall? I sure do.
I wasn’t just drawn to Doc Johnson’s 6″ Realistic Platinum Vac-U-Lock Cock for its very long and concise name, but also for its detail. I mean: Wow. This is one detailed dildo.
