Finding Gems
Sometimes I feel like Tantus is the king of all dildo companies. Not a tyrannical king, no, but a good one that listens to its people’s needs and wants.
Because this dildo meets 4 things I needed and wanted: (1) It’s silicone; (2) It features dual density firmness; (3) It’s realistic; and (4) It has a foreskin! Thank you, King Tantus, thank you!
This dildo, thanks to the life-casting gods, gives you a dildo that’s not stereotypically handsome. The shaft bulges in some spots. The coronal ridge is kind of funky, straight where ridges are often round. The head is slightly asymmetrical. It has the overall effect of not looking particularly youthful, instead giving you impression that this dick is is worldly and experienced. Okay, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself and projecting too much onto it. But still. I love that this dildo isn’t aesthetically perfect. It’s interesting to look at.
The Crystal Twist Color Dildo securely belongs in my “Could Pass as Modern Art” box of sex toys. The shaft consists of 3 layers of spiraled glass, arriving at a triangular point at the head. At the bottom, the body of the dildo flares out to form an anal-safe base, complete with a Swarovski crystal.
The screw-like nature of this dildo makes it incompatible with thrusting. Instead, this design encourages you to twist the dildo in and out of your body. Yup, folks: this toy will literally screw you.
I requested this specific product because of its incredible splashes of color. It’s something I’ve never seen before. Set against a light blue base, Alex is spattered with red, dark blue, and yellow. There’s no logical pattern to these globs of colour, and I can easily imagine a BS Atelier employee happily pouring assorted colors in the silicone mix without much thought. The result is really stunning. Though most of the blobs are large, there’s several long strings and fine specs of color as well. It’s truly a work of art.
The Vibrating Pack ‘n Play No. 2 is a dildo designed to be both a packer and a dildo. Meant to eliminate the need to carry around two separate products, this toy is theoretically soft enough to wear beneath clothes but hard enough for penetration.
I love that this dildo looks streamlined and neat. The Vibrating Pack ‘n Play No. 2 caught my eye because it has the same body as my much-loved Mark O2. Semi-realistic and stylized, this dildo sports a lightly-veined shaft and a shiny head.
This dildo’s design can be summed up as “one stunning willy.” The dildo itself is crazily detailed because it’s a life cast (courtesy of male porn star, Pierre Fitch). I’ve never watched any of his porn, so I’m not best-buddies with his penis and I can’t tell you how accurate and true-to-life this dildo is. But I can tell/show you is the detail here is meticulous.
I had trouble deciding whether or not I should slot this review into my “realistic” feature category of toys. The Real Nude Ergo clearly resembles a penis. It has testicles. It has a head with some sort of coronal ridge. And it comes in this peachy skin tone as well as a darker skin tone. But the realism ends there.
Okay, okay… I’m not sure if you actually have to fantasize about a great big purple dinosaur while using it. But, if any of you secretly have a burning urge to do so, now is your time to shine.
I’ve racked my brain trying to decide what I love the most about the Exotic-Erotics Halfling. Is it the adorable flushed rosy head? Is it the thin flap of silicone where the shaft tapers into the balls? Is it those delicious veined textures? I don’t know. All I know is that I need one for every room in my house.
The Serendipity Euphorabliss has an extremely simple crab-claw design. Shaft. Clitoral ear. Handle. Done.
One thing I like about the design is that the whole vibe (but especially the tip of the shaft and the clitoral arm) is fairly squishy. Not very squishy, but there’s definitely some give to it when you press into it with your finger. Also, the clitoral arm is really flexible! It can be bent far backwards towards the handle at a larger than 90-degree angle, which is something I’ve never seen in a rabbit vibe.
