Finding Gems
I don’t know even where to… I feel so….Look at….MY NAME IS ON THE DILDO.
To be honest, I almost find it weird to call Silvarus’ creations “dildos” because they’re so much more that that. Looking at them, you can’t help but appreciate this artist’s craft. They’re art. They’re magical.
This dildo’s design can be summed up as “one stunning willy.” The dildo itself is crazily detailed because it’s a life cast (courtesy of male porn star, Pierre Fitch). I’ve never watched any of his porn, so I’m not best-buddies with his penis and I can’t tell you how accurate and true-to-life this dildo is. But I can tell/show you is the detail here is meticulous.
Like many Kegel exercisers, these balls consist of an internal free-roaming weight inside a shell. This means that, when you shake them, you’ll hear a soft, deep, jiggle as they knock about the shell.
I had trouble deciding whether or not I should slot this review into my “realistic” feature category of toys. The Real Nude Ergo clearly resembles a penis. It has testicles. It has a head with some sort of coronal ridge. And it comes in this peachy skin tone as well as a darker skin tone. But the realism ends there.
I’m no stranger to the importance of Kegel exercises. But I suck at them, truly I do, which is probably why my vagina can’t yet crush boulders into fine sand (I’m working on it though). I struggle with staying in the habit of doing something as tedious as consciously clenching my PC muscles every day. So, when I heard about Kegel balls, I rejoiced because, finally, I could exercise my PC muscles without having to think about every single conscious clench.
Okay, okay… I’m not sure if you actually have to fantasize about a great big purple dinosaur while using it. But, if any of you secretly have a burning urge to do so, now is your time to shine.
I’ve racked my brain trying to decide what I love the most about the Exotic-Erotics Halfling. Is it the adorable flushed rosy head? Is it the thin flap of silicone where the shaft tapers into the balls? Is it those delicious veined textures? I don’t know. All I know is that I need one for every room in my house.
Most toys don’t work for my body right away. Generally, I have to try a toy several times before I grow to love and appreciate it. Not this toy. With the We-Vibe Touch, much like the Tango, my body loved it right away. During my first play session, I only lasted around 2 minutes before I was hurled into multiple-orgasm-mode. Thank you, We-Vibe.
I really like how versatile this set is is. Those adjustable straps let you turn your ordinary furniture into a playground, which is remarkably convenient. As far as restraint sets go, I think this was was a pretty perfect fit for my needs. Plus, this set is reeeeaaaally comfortable. My wrists and ankles feel like they’re snug in a pair of wrist and ankle warmers. The fuzzy underside of the cuffs make these very cozy. If you want to be in agony from your restraints, look elsewhere.
The Serendipity Euphorabliss has an extremely simple crab-claw design. Shaft. Clitoral ear. Handle. Done.
One thing I like about the design is that the whole vibe (but especially the tip of the shaft and the clitoral arm) is fairly squishy. Not very squishy, but there’s definitely some give to it when you press into it with your finger. Also, the clitoral arm is really flexible! It can be bent far backwards towards the handle at a larger than 90-degree angle, which is something I’ve never seen in a rabbit vibe.
