This week, we learn about Vanilla is the New Kink!
This series was created to highlight sex bloggers (new and old) to my readers. If you’d like your sex blog featured, please read my instructions and get in touch!
Vanilla is the New Kink
1. Which sex-related blog(s) do you run and how long have you been at it? By what name may we call you? Pronouns?
I run a blog called Vanilla is the New Kink with my partner Jack. I am the main creative mind behind it and Jack is the technical mind. You can call me Alice. My pronouns are she/her/hers.
2. Where are you from?
3. Where can we find you on social media?
We have just started an Instagram account (@vanillaisthenewkink). Social media can be a tricky one as a lot of platforms can be quite strict in relation to sexual content.
4. Sum up your blog (such as its theme, focus, quirkiness, uniqueness).
My blog aims to be inclusive of older women. Particularly, those who are caught between raising kids, building a career and running a household and often put their sex lives to the backburner. I am also pretty vanilla. If you are after kink information and products, there many wonderful bloggers out there who are in a better position to provide that kind of information.
5. What is your blog’s creation story? Why was it born? Did any already-established bloggers inspire you?
I wanted to create something that spoke to older women (45+) but also something that talked about simple vanilla sex. I see many sex blogs still picturing sex as something naughty and underground. Not to mention that when older women ‘come out’ as someone who enjoys an active sex life that includes lots of sex toys, labels such as ‘dirty old woman’ are still very much used in our society.
I was also inspired by Australian author Doreen Wendt-Weir who wrote a book called Sex in Your Seventies. The title is self-explanatory!
Another big inspiration for me is pornstar Morgana. Before her career in the adult industry, Morgana was very close to suicide after the end of an unhappy marriage and severe depression. She was keen to end her life and, for her last “hurrah!” decided to hire a male sex worker and have a lovely night. Something clicked that night and she decided to pursue a career in porn in her fifties and became quite successful and, more importantly, happy!
6. What do you do full time? Blog? Or do something else?
I work three days a week in community services, but I am getting busier and busier with blog life and hope to be doing this fulltime in the near future.
7. Do you consider yourself an advocate/supporter of any particular group(s)? And/Or, are you a member of a group whose voice is often suppressed?
I have a keen interest in older people! I’m quickly approaching fifty and I think we are underrepresented when the conversation is about sex and sexuality. I am also keen to promote body positivity.
8. What are your short and long-term goals for your blog? Aiming to stay for years, or is this a short-term hobby?
I am definitely here for the long run! At the moment, we are working hard on creating good quality content. We hope that our audience will guide our future work.
9. What is your favourite post on your blog to date? Why?
I love the article about Feminist Porn! For far too long, porn was created for males by males. It is so exciting to see it changing. There is so much talent out there.
10. What does “sex-positive” mean to you?
On a general level, it means that anything that happens between consenting adults is to be celebrated and supported.
I tried kink and didn’t like it, but I fully support those who practice it.
On a more personal level, it means to embrace my own sexuality with its likes and dislikes. I got to an age that I don’t do things just to please others.
Also, I think sex-positive goes hand in hand with body positive. I am overweight, have cellulite and I love sexy lingerie and take lots of nude selfies! The idea that the expression of sexiness is exclusive to those who have a certain body type is ridiculous. Sex is one of the greatest equalizers!
11. Have you found any friends (or heroes) in the sex blogging community?
As mentioned, Doreen Wendt-Weir and Morgana Muses are my heroes. I also love Cindy Gallop and Erika Lust for their work in the movie industry. I am slowly finding friends who are ‘behind the screen’ bloggers and not quite out there.
12. Who is the single biggest supporter of your blog? I.e., moral support, tech skills, resources, anything.
My partner Jack.
13. How important (or unimportant) is anonymity to you?
I haven’t come out to my mom as a sex blogger, but have lots of friends who are aware of my sex blog life! At this stage, as I still do paid work, I also fear that coming out could lead to negative consequences with my employer. But I do dream of, one day, being out and proud!
14. Have you ever had anything bizarre or horrible or funny or amazing happen as a result of blogging?
When we started blogging in late 2019, we reached out to a few sex toy manufacturers and retailers saying that we were interested in doing some product testing and reviews. We were hoping to get two or three products. To my surprise, in the following month, we were inundated with sex toys! It was a month of hard work testing all these amazing orgasmic products!
15. For sex toy users: If you could only have one sex toy for the rest of your life… what is it?
The Maude Vibe! Small, powerful and travel-friendly. My partner Jack loves it too!
16. Has sex blogging shaped/influenced you in a broader “real-life” sense? (i.e., your worldview, your personality, your confidence?)
I think sex blogging is a result of all that. But turning ideas and emotions into a blog is a labor of love. I am proud of seeing ‘my baby’ grow.
17. Introvert or extrovert? Cats or dogs? Coffee or tea? Which Hogwarts house?
Introvert – that’s why I write. I am terrible at talking. I can do it, but it is a learned skill and it makes me exhausted.
Cats or Dogs? We have a bit of wildlife such as lizards and marsupials where we live. Sadly they often get killed by pets, so we made the conscious decision of not having pets, but can totally understand how people get attached to their pets.
Tea, tea and tea – actually I don’t like coffee at all.
Hogwarts house… my kids tell me Gryffindor!
18. If you could magically and instantaneously change something about this community (i.e., sex toy industry, blogger politics, erotica, porn, sex education, etc), what would you change?
I hate the word ‘naughty’ being associated with anything sex! Enjoying consensual sex is not naughty! I would also love to see more older people and diverse body types being more featured! It is improving but we still have a long way to go.
19. What are the top 1-3 reasons that keep you blogging?
I see it as a marathon, not a sprint. It is a long game plan. I can’t wait to change my bio to say ‘Hi, I’m Alice and I am 70 years old and I love sex…’.
20. Lastly, what advice would you give to readers considering starting a sex blog of their own?
Find your style and your niche. Don’t try to be everything for everyone.
Thanks Alice and Jack! If you’d like your sex blog featured, please read my instructions and get in touch!