A Review of Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube: Or, the one that’s “semenilar” to the real thing
A fun and messy lubricant.
Bad Dragon Cum Lube is a water-based lubricant designed to look and feel like real semen. Packaged in 250 mL bottles, Cum Lube comes in two varieties: white and clear. Being water-based, Cum Lube can be safely used with any type of material, including silicone.
Things I like about Cum Lube:
Appearance: Cum Lube really does look like semen. I struggled to find notable difference between the two, which I take to be a sign of a good formula. It’s mostly white but becomes clearer as it gets thinner.
Consistency: It’s also very runny. If you squeeze a droplet on a surface with a downward slope, that droplet will quickly start traveling down, leaving very little sign of any trail.
Functional: Compared to other lubricants I’ve tried, Cum Lube is a great functional lube by itself. It clings (with remarkable ardor) to the surfaces it touches, and it isn’t easily swayed by water or soap. If your hands are covered in Cum Lube, it’ll take you a minute or so of vigorous washing with soap and water to be free. This is because it’s very slippery, slippier than any other lube I’ve tried this far. Of course, that means that for sex (or sex toys), Cum Lube is functional: keeps things lubricated and lasts a long time.
Paraben-Free: Parabens freak me out. For those of you who haven’t heard of these, a paraben is a type of preservative used in many cosmetics and pharmaceuticals products because they’re cheap, they’re antibacterial, and they have fungicidal properties. There are parabens in almost almost every make-up or face-wash product you’ll use unless that product specifically states “Paraben-Free.” Parabens freak me out because they’re found in concentration in breast cancer tissues. In other words, I really don’t want parabens in my vagina. But Cum Lube is paraben-free! Whew!
Scent: I can’t quite place my finger on what Cum Lube smells like. Paint? PVA glue? Whatever it is, it’s very mild. Some lubes I’ve tried have a very strong industrial scent. Cum Lube definitely has a scent, but it’s vague and almost unnoticeable unless your nose is an inch away from the bottle. That being said, it doesn’t taste great, so keep that in mind.
Fun/Hella Sexy: I can’t help it. This stuff is sexy in action. It lets me see way more ‘semen’ at once than is humanly possible. It lets me see semen drizzled over sexy dildos in a way that I, as a female, can’t otherwise reproduce. Visually, this is really exciting, and I’m beginning to kick myself for not choosing a cumtube feature for my Bad Dragon dildos. It feels like I’ve been given a magic wand that instantaneously creates semen out of thin air. I can, if I wished, a roll around in a puddle of semen! I’d buy Cum Lube for this feature alone, even if it didn’t double as a lubricant.
The Thing I don’t like about Cum Lube:
It’s Messy: I have a love/hate relationship with the stringiness feature of Cum Lube. For a lubricant to resemble real semen, it definitely needs to be somewhat stringy. So it’s good that Cum Lube is stringy. But Cum Lube is more stringy than semen, and it might be too stringy for me. If you get even tiniest bit of lube on your finger and pull your finger away, you’ll be attached with a thin web-like string of lube until the wind or vigorous hand-flapping causes the webby string to float away. If your hand is covered in the lube, pulling your fingers apart will cause webbing between your fingers, which turns into thin strings.
In other words, things get messy fast. While non-stringy lubricants stay relatively contained in the area you’ve placed it (asides from dripping downwards), Cum Lube will spread in all directions depending on what it’s come into contact with. For many people, this will probably make Cum Lube really fun, and it may even be their favourite feature. But for neat freaks like me, whose first instinct is to contain any mess, this distracts me from what I’m trying to focus on.
In sum, I really like Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube. I like that it offers something unique and different from the other lubricants I have tried so far: endless instantaneous semen capabilities! (until the bottle runs out, that is, so I’d suggest buying in pairs). Because it’s slippery and sticks to surfaces, it’s also a conveniently long-lasting and comfortable lube.
- Looks like the real thing
- Not heavily scented
- No parabens
- Too stringy for me (But you may like this about it!)