Yup. You read correctly. These are the Bad Dragon “Teenie Weenies,” which I’m pretty sure takes the cake as one of the hilariously-accurate names out there.
Because these Teenie Weenies are indeed teenie weenies.
What are these?
One of the great things about 3D printing your designs is that companies can easily scale up and down the size of their models, thus offering several perfect copies of the same toy, but in different sizes. Now, generally this just means that there’s somewhat normal-sized toys. Bad Dragon decided to go waaaay out there and create the tiniest little silicone dildos on the planet.
So, lo and behold, Bad Dragon, the creator of a large line of average-sized to humongous fantasy-themed dildos, also sells each of their models in minuscule size. And I mean miniscule. Each little silicone model averages 2 inches in total length, which is smaller than my pinkie finger. Yes. They are adorable.
But if you think their tiny size means that they’re lacking in detail, think again. These tiny toys are ridiculously detailed for something so small. Every muscle, every curve, every bend…it’s all there.
I can’t discern which firmness level these are made in. They’re extremely soft though, feeling quite like gummy bears to the touch. This probably means that they’re made in Soft firmness, or it just means that they’re made in Medium or Firm and they’re so tiny that those firmness levels feel soft anyhow. Either way, the end result is the same, soft, squishy, bendy, fun.
What are they for?
Just to throw it out there, these Teenie Weenies are NOT intended for use. So please do not stick these inside of you. This is one of those times in the sex toy industry when “novelty use” actually means….it’s just a toy. It’s something to display, perhaps on top of your monitor or in your bedside drawer or, who knows, as the central focus point in your living room. Whatever you do with them, remember: they aren’t meant to be inside of your body.
One thing you can use them for, however, is to look at a model up close to discern if you’d like to order it as a full-sized toy. They’re quite handy in that regard. Almost all my Teenie Weenies are of Bad Dragon toys that I don’t own, and I get to basically examine each model up close to decide if I’d like that toy in full size. For example, when I got the Dragon Muzzle penetrable as a Teenie Weenie, I was suddenly majorly impressed at the detail of that model, and could appreciate how stunning the full sized toy would be. I could examine the Dragon Muzzle in a way I just can’t by looking at the product photos online. The same with Stan the T-Rex (pictured in pink below). I mean…wow. Wow.
Kay…so how does this work?
You can’t buy these individually. Instead, you buy a packet of 5 for $25. That’s it. You can’t choose your colour and you can’t choose which models you get. It’s basically like buying a packet of baseball cards….you really don’t know if you’re going to get something you already have. And this blindness is exactly part of the fun.
I don’t mind that you don’t get to choose the colour, because the colours are always pretty neat. My Crash the Raptor Teenie Weenie is purple with streaks of beautiful pink. My Dragon Muzzle is a marbled blue and purple. And my Trent the Triceratops and the Ultimate Fantasy are fantastically glow-in-the-dark colours. Those glow-in-the-dark colours were an especially fun surprise.
At the end of the day, the Teenie Weenies are just really fun. It’s hard to not keep them on my desk. They’re just so….tiny. And surrounded by a feeling of collectable-ness. After my first pack of 5, I kept on hoping that Bad Dragon would magically chuck another packet of them in my review shipments because, ya know, you gotta catch em all. After 10, my sense of COLLECT COLLECT COLLECT has calmed down somewhat. Still, I can easily imagine that Bad Dragon fans will want to get their hands on every single one of these…
To get your very own packet of Teenie Weenies, head on over to Bad Dragon.